A Time To Wait

Psalm 25:16-21

Mother used to say: "Wait on the Lord. God will see you through. Do not rush your decisions. Pray and pray, Son. Wait on the Lord." What is waiting? Through the years I listened to Mother. She was my laptop theologian. Before she died on April 15, 2002, I had over a year of visiting with her and talking about life and death. I had the blessing of knowing that she was prepared to transition from life to death in the hope of eternal life.
In 2000, Mother's doctor said: "Your mother and I discussed her dying. She wants you to let her go without a fight." We understood his report. However, my two elder brothers and I had another desire. We desired Mother to live until death on earth. She knew that diabetes had brought the assurance of her pending death. And, she wanted her sons to let her go easy. We could not honor her request. She had given her all for us time and time again. We were determined to give our all in return. Hopeless in that battle against diabetes, we desired to win in the deliverance of loving her on earth. We tried.
During the days, weeks, and months of her pending death there were so many lessons learned. One lesson was in the pastoral care granted my parents by Rev. John Dicks, who was in Marion, SC during the time. Knowing my Mother was dying, John helped her live until the end. Within her last 24 hours of life he was caring for us. I learned there is a time to wait as a minister, while another child of God provides unconditional love and care. John allowed me to be a son as I waited for the ultimate healing of Mother.
Waiting is applying the fullness of love until death, yet admittedly praying for the reversal of time and healing. The demands of living life birthed from Mother and the end of life had me waiting in stress and conflict. The purpose of hope turned from earth to the afterlife. Still I could not let go.
Thoughts of persons who befriend me as well as those who wish me pain confront my reality of moments. So, I pray: "Lord, heal us, so that we are healed, indeed. Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me, ... Keep my soul, and deliver me; let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You. Let integrity and godliness be my bodyguard, for I wait for You. Our Father, who art in heaven ... Amen." Still it is a time to wait.
History and nature of my being on this earth (born in 1955) my time to wait continues. I wait not for Mother or Father nor brothers or others, it is a time to wait ...

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on my soul, and preserve me as I wait for you. Amen.