The Silent Voice

Matthew 19:1-10



Youth often carry the silent voice in divorce. When families experience breakdown in the system individuals and families may benefit from "talk" therapy for the psychological health of those concerned. Thirty-two years of training in psychotherapy has produced a natural willingness to listening. On a recent flight, the silent voice of a youth leaving her father in the south to return to her mother in the north spoke.



She is as beautiful as the morning on a sunny day. Youth covers her. Excitement glows in each smile. When she speaks it is a refreshing sound in the midst of memories. Remember bathing in youth? To recall the warm waters of youth may comfort an aging soul. Thirty-six years removed from the experience of youth, God has so perfected existence as to allow memories in this soul to produce awe.

Here I am in the air of existence still soaking in the joy of yesterday. It is nice listening to the new expressions of youth. Flying from one city to another, I listened. I heard her pain in response to parental divorce. Would it make a difference, if she stated to her parents what she has longed to say? What is the cost of her silence?

Is it alright? Really! Is it alright to be silent. The cost of silence may be lower than the price of speaking out of order. Parents, like youth, believe their lives are their own. The impact therefore on even the most beautiful of children is a cost too often paid by the youth. I only imagine what it is like.

My parents made it through the arguments and fights. Surely, there was cost to my emotions on the roller coaster of their ups and downs. Yet, I never had to become spent on the matter of divorce. Beyond the emotional, what could this adorable young lady have on her list of cost? Could her cost be equal to that borne by so many? Now, a few years into divorce I heard her say she is “spent” on the divorce. Tired of the drama, no doubt. She endures the cost in communication, recreation, rituals, routines, finances, education, emotions, intellectual dining, etc. She cries to get off the battle field.

So, parents, who care, end the war. Retire from the battle of divorce wars. Learn appropriate ways to share the expense of the cost. An investment in adjusting the system in light of the divorce, may allow rough relations to be transformed. Start with the mirror image. Look in the mirror and see you. Pray that through the course of time, the image will reveal the God in you. Live in the image of God. An image of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23a)